Have you ever sat down and seriously asked yourself, What do I really want in life?
Not just what society expects of you. Not what your family or friends think you should do. But what YOU truly, deeply desire.
For many, this question is surprisingly difficult. We get so caught up in day-to-day responsibilities, routines, and the expectations of others that we forget to stop and reflect on our own dreams.
But here’s the truth: Success starts with clarity. Until you decide what you truly want, you’re like a ship without a destination – just floating wherever the current takes you.
If you’ve ever felt lost, stuck, or like life is just “happening” to you, this post is for you. Let’s dive deep into the power of clarity, how to figure out what you truly want, and how to start making it a reality – starting TODAY!
Why Clarity is the Key to Success
Have you ever decided you wanted a specific car, and suddenly, you see it everywhere? It’s not a coincidence – it’s your Reticular Activating System (RAS) at work.
Think of your RAS as your brain’s personal assistant, filtering the endless stream of information around you and spotlighting what matters most. That car was always there – you just weren’t tuned in to notice it. But the moment you told your brain it was important, it started revealing what had been hidden in plain sight.
This same principle applies to every goal in life – whether it’s financial freedom, a thriving business, or better health. The moment you decide what you want, your brain shifts its focus. It starts spotting opportunities, making connections, and guiding you toward resources that were always there, waiting for you to notice. It’s like flipping a switch that signals to the universe: “I’m ready!”
Now, think of any successful person you admire. Whether they’re an inspiring leader, a thriving entrepreneur, or someone living with joy and fulfillment, they all share one thing in common:
They knew exactly what they wanted – and they went for it.
People who achieve success don’t just hope things will fall into place.
They get crystal clear on their goals and take intentional action to make them happen.
When you’re clear about what you want:
- You make decisions that align with your vision.
- You stop wasting time on distractions that don’t serve your purpose.
- You attract the right people, opportunities, and resources into your life.
- You wake up with excitement and motivation instead of drifting aimlessly.
The best part? You can create this kind of clarity for yourself – starting right now. And it all begins with three simple but powerful questions…
1. Who Do You Want to Be?
Before you think about what you want to have or do, the most important question to ask yourself is: Who do I want to become?
Your identity shapes your habits, mindset, and ultimately, your results. If you want to transform your life, it all starts with defining the kind of person you aspire to be.
Personal Example:
Years ago, I struggled with self-doubt and low self-esteem. I craved success, but deep down, I wasn’t sure I deserved it. Then, one day, I made a powerful decision, and I created this affirmation:
I am someone who takes bold action and steps into my true power.
At first, I didn’t feel like that person, but I chose to embody that identity anyway, and started to take a few bold actions. And soon enough, something amazing happened – opportunities started coming my way. Not all of them were the right fit, but because I had stepped into my confidence, I was able to assess them with clarity and make empowered choices. Each experience, whether it worked out or not, taught me something valuable about myself.
Through this journey of self-discovery, I fine-tuned my vision, strengthened my confidence, and grew into the person and business owner I am today.
Business Example:
Let’s say you dream of running a successful online business. Instead of vaguely stating, “I want to be rich,” reframe it with clarity and conviction:
I want to be a confident, thriving entrepreneur who impacts lives and creates financial freedom for myself and others.
Success isn’t just about external achievements – it’s about stepping into the version of yourself who naturally attracts those results.
Action Step: Declare Your Identity
Write a powerful “I AM” statement that reflects the person you want to become.
- I am a healthy, energetic person who prioritizes self-care and balance.
- I am a loving and supportive partner who nurtures strong relationships.
- I am a fearless entrepreneur who takes inspired action every day.
Write it down. Read it out loud every morning. Feel the emotions of already being that person. And most importantly – start acting as if you are that person now. Your reality will rise to meet your new identity.
2. What Do You Want to Do?
Once you know who you want to become, the next step is to figure out what you truly want to do.
What excites you? What lights you up inside? If there were no limitations – no fears, no doubts – what would you wake up excited to do every day?
Many people stay stuck simply because they haven’t taken the time to define their vision. But the moment you gain clarity, everything starts falling into place.
Personal Example:
In 1993, I visited a Mediterranean country for the first time, and it was a life-changing experience. The contrast to my home country, Norway, was striking – everything from the warm weather to the relaxed yet thriving lifestyle, the delicious food, and the vibrant culture. I felt at home in a way I had never experienced before.
At the time, I told myself: “One day, I’ll move to a sunnier, warmer country.”
But as we all know, “one day” isn’t a real date on the calendar. And for years, my dream remained just that – yeah, you guessed it, a dream.
Then, something shifted. I started doing small things that aligned with my vision. I researched different countries, experimented with Mediterranean recipes, filled my home with flowers from warmer climates, and watched shows like A Place in the Sun. Without realizing it at that time, I was mentally stepping into the life I wanted.
And then, something even bigger happened: my self-talk changed. I found myself saying: “I am a happy resident in a Mediterranean country, living in warmth and sunshine as my children are grown and thriving in their own independent lives.”
That shift in mindset led to action, and in 2007 I moved to Cyprus and became a resident there. While I loved the experience, I eventually realized island life wasn’t for me. So in 2011, I made another bold decision and relocated to Spain.
This dream wouldn’t have become a reality if I had just wished for it. It happened because I defined what I wanted and took steps toward it – even before I knew exactly how it would unfold.
Business Example:
A former client of mine had dreamed of leaving his 9-to-5 job to start his own online business. But for years, he stayed stuck, jumping from one opportunity to another without real commitment. He wasn’t making progress – not because he lacked skills, but because he lacked clarity. And he was about to give up his dream.
After a few sessions, he suddenly realized what got him fired up. The moment he decided what he truly wanted, everything changed. He committed to a specific business model, took focused action, and started building his brand. Within a short period of time, he had his first paying clients, and was able to quit his job entirely a year later.
Clarity fuels action. The clearer you are about what you want to do, the faster you’ll get there.
Action Step: Create Your “Dream List”
Make a list of things you’d love to do – big or small, personal or professional.
- Write a book
- Start a passion project
- Learn a new skill
- Travel to a dream destination
- Change careers or start a business
Then, pick ONE thing from your list and take the first step this week! Even a small step -like researching, journaling, or reaching out to someone for advice – sets the wheels in motion.
Remember, your dreams aren’t meant to stay in your imagination. They’re meant to be lived.
3. What Do You Want to Have?
Now, let’s talk about the material side of life – what do you want to have? This isn’t about greed; it’s about intentionally creating abundance in a way that aligns with your values and desires.
Do you dream of financial freedom? A beautiful home that feels like a sanctuary? A healthier, stronger body? More time with loved ones?
The key here is specificity. Instead of saying, “I want more money,” try: “I want to earn €10,000 per month doing work I love by December 2025.”
When you’re clear on what you want and why you want it, you set the wheels of manifestation into motion.
Personal Example: From Clutter to Clarity
For many years, I believed that filling my home with things would make me feel happier, more successful, and even more respected by others. I hosted elaborate dinner parties, themed gatherings, and BBQs, and while they were a hit, as the years past, something felt off. Instead of feeling joyful, I felt drained.
Over time, my life – and my home – felt cluttered, both physically and emotionally. I realized that I wasn’t truly happy. What I actually craved was simplicity.
One day I made a bold decision. I started decluttering – selling, donating, and letting go of things that no longer served me. At first, it was just a few items, but over the years, I found myself with almost nothing. And the craziest part? The less I had, the lighter and happier I felt.
With fewer material stuff and expectations around hosting and entertaining, I felt free. But then, something unexpected happened. I began to want certain things again – not to impress others, but to reward myself for my journey and hard work.
At first, I resisted. Was I falling back into old habits? But then I had a breakthrough: This time, my desires came from a place of joy, not validation.
So, I started “window-shopping” online, creating a Trello list of things I truly wanted. This process helped me refine my desires and reconnect with my intuition. Now, before making any purchase, I ask myself:
“Why do I want this?”
If the answer aligns with my happiness, well-being, or ease, I allow myself to receive it. Today, my life is filled with intentional abundance – things that truly add value to my happiness and prosperity. And I entertain when I want to – not due to expectations.
Business Example: Clarity Creates Results
Many entrepreneurs set vague financial goals like “I want to make six figures.” But without clarity, it remains just a wish.
The most successful people I’ve worked with are the ones who got crystal clear and committed to a concrete goal. For example: “I will generate €100,000 in revenue by the end of the year.”
That level of specificity creates a roadmap – a clear direction for where to focus their energy. And once they defined their target, they reached it faster than expected!
Action Step: Create Your “Have List”
Think of this as placing an order with the universe. What are you asking for? Be specific and intentional.
- A thriving business generating consistent income
- A loving, supportive relationship full of joy
- A dream home by the beach or in the mountains
- A strong, fit, and energetic body
- More travel and adventure in your life
Now, pick ONE thing you want most and start taking aligned and INSPIRED action toward it today!
Remember: You are worthy of abundance, joy, and prosperity. The more intentional you are, the faster it flows into your life.
Final Thoughts: Clarity Creates Power
The moment you DECIDE what you want, you activate a powerful force – your mind, your energy, and even the universe start working in your favor.
Your thoughts become your focus.
Your focus becomes your actions.
Your actions create your reality.
So today, I challenge you to get clear on what you truly want – without fear, without doubt, just pure excitement.
👉 Drop a comment below and share ONE thing you’re deciding to create in your life. I’d love to cheer you on!
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Disclaimer:
Individual results will vary, and results are NOT guaranteed.
I have always been very independent. I recognized in 2019 that I did care about what other people said about me, even the lies they said, I questioned, but I stuck with my truth and forged through the negative and crushed it with the positive, I am worthy, I am powerful, I am who God says I am, I am a warrior and worked through it all to continue working on me to be the strong warrior I am and hold my power and stand in my power.
Wow, your journey is truly inspiring! Recognizing your worth and standing in your power despite negativity is a testament to your strength and resilience. It takes incredible courage to push past the noise, trust your truth, and keep moving forward, which I know you are doing. I love your affirmations – they radiate confidence and self-belief! Keep embracing your warrior spirit and showing up as the powerful person you are. The world needs more of that kind of energy! 💪✨ Thank you for sharing your story – so powerful!