Even if you don’t know exactly how to start, you always know when it’s time to raise your standards. You feel it in your body. You feel it in your spirit. You feel it when something in your life doesn’t sit right anymore.
Here’s the truth: your life is a direct reflection of the standards you have for yourself and for others.
For years, I thought I had high standards, but in reality, I had them upside down. I expected a lot from others but let myself slide when it came to my own self-respect, health, and boundaries. My intuition kept whispering, “Raise your standards,” but I was frozen in fear, insecurities, and old patterns to be honest…
The scariest – but most life-changing – decision you’ll ever make is to commit to higher standards. Trust me, I learned it the hard way…
And let me be clear: this is not about superficial conditions like “he/she must make X amount of money” or “look a certain way.” That’s not raising your standards. That’s shrinking your life down to conditions that strip it of substance. Because it’s not you, it’s what you think it’s expected of you!
Real standards are about protecting your mental health, your peace, your growth, and your energy. Regardless of the outside world.
When you do that, everything changes.
Why Standards, Boundaries, and Mental Health Go Hand-in-Hand
You can’t have one without the other. Standards protect your energy. Boundaries enforce your standards. Mental health thrives when both are in place.
And yes – it’s scary! I know from personal experience…
It’s scary to block someone you still love.
It’s scary to commit to non-reactivity when you’ve always reacted.
It’s scary to let people live with the consequences of their choices.
It’s scary to say: “I will lose anyone and anything before I lose my mind.”
- It’s scary to say “It’s not against you, it FOR me”, because most likely they don’t get it!
But let me tell you – it is so worth it in the long run!
Prioritizing my mental health cost me friendships I thought I’d have forever and even family I thought would always be there. And yet, I’ve learned, that wasn’t always the case as some of them them would prefer me to stay as my old self.
I have come to the conclusion…
If taking care of my mental health disappoints others, then let it. Better that than a lifetime of disappointing myself.
Maybe this way of thinking can also help you move on, as it sure did help me… Let me repeat…
“It’s not against them, it for you.”
Setting Personal Standards (and Actually Keeping Them High)
Here’s the secret that took me years to truly understand: you can’t set standards for relationships – or anything else – until you first set them for yourself.
And this isn’t about trying – it’s about committing.
When you “try your best,” there’s always an escape hatch. You can say, “At least I tried.” But commitment? Commitment has no exit. Meaning, if you’re committed, you’re all in. Doesn’t matter what you’re committed to, as long as it is YOUR higher standard.
That’s how standards are kept high.
You commit to:
Having your own back.
Not engaging in gossip, drama, or toxic relationships.
Walking away at the first red flag, instead of staying to prove your worth, or making excuses.
When I stopped “trying” and truly committed, I became my own healer, my own hero. It’s not to say I have it “all together”, however, when I stopped waiting for the world to rescue me because I realized: I was the one I was waiting for.
Try this exercise:
Write down everything you wish to be and become.
Then list what’s currently preventing that from becoming real.
Finally, write what you will no longer accept or tolerate.
This is your foundation for higher standards. Don’t make it complicated. Just DO. Do not try…
How to Raise Your Standards in Life and Business
Raising your standards isn’t just about relationships – it applies to every area of your life.
Here are a few practical ways you can start raising the bar today:
Personal Standards
Commit to daily movement, even if it’s just a 20-minute walk.
Choose whole, nourishing foods over processed quick fixes.
Protect your mornings from social media – no scrolling for the first hour, at least.
Surround yourself only with people who uplift you. And if you do have close negative family and friends who you are not ready to cut out of your life, at least minimize the time spent with them.
Start journaling daily to reflect and realign. Go over your thoughts and feelings in every situation of the day.
Create a personal savings plan instead of “waiting to see what’s left.” It’s about blocking out time for YOU to re-energize and prioritize you. If you are not taking care of you, you have less to give to others.
Business Standards
Respond to client inquiries within 24 hours.
Show up to meetings on time and prepared. And when I say “on time”, that means at least 5 minutes ahead of scheduled time. If you show up on scheduled time, you are already too late.
Standardize your branding for a professional, trustworthy presence. That is not just your logo or your social media photo. What is the “more” for you that will help rise your branding?
Batch your content creation instead of rushing at the last minute. Working in blocks always helps, and it also provide a sequence that build your expertise, and make sense to others. You are here to serve at your highest level, right?
Hold a weekly CEO meeting with yourself to review numbers, goals, and progress. Don’t beat yourself up, or quit, if the week was far below your standards. Instead, ask yourself how you can improve next week.
Stop undercharging – price your services in alignment with the value you bring. And let me tell you, you bring far more value than you give yourself credit for.
Only collaborate with people who share your integrity and values.
When you hold yourself to these standards, everything in your business and personal life shifts. You stop tolerating mediocrity. You stop negotiating your worth. You start attracting opportunities that match the level you’re playing at.
Raising Your Standards in Relationships
This is where it gets powerful, however, it can also be the most painful and scary.
When you raise your standards for yourself, you don’t have to voice them to your family, friends, partner, co-worker, etc. You will naturally start to attract people who meet you where you are – or they fall away because they are no longer on the level of standard as you are.
I used to think standards were about them – what I would or wouldn’t tolerate. But when I finally made a list of what I wouldn’t tolerate within myself – the procrastination, the excuses, the self-betrayal – that’s when everything shifted in my life. I discovered this when I went through my first 100-day gratitude journey.
You will never accept being treated worse than you already treat yourself. Raise your self-standards, and watch your relational standards rise automatically. It’s not magic, however, I can tell you it feels like magic!
10 Things That Happen When You Raise Your Standards
Loneliness. The first symptom. Just like detoxing your body, detoxing your relationships can feel rough. But it’s a sign you’re in the right place.
Self-doubt. You’ll wonder if you did the right thing. That’s normal – keep going.
You attract healthier people. At first, it may feel boring compared to chaos. But eventually, peace becomes your new normal.
Discomfort without codependency. When you no longer need people to need you, it feels strange – but liberating.
Relief. No more constant stress.
Freedom. Your time and energy are yours again.
Less drama. Toxic cycles stop repeating.
Increased self-respect. You kept your word to yourself.
Self-compassion. You finally stop saying, “I can’t believe I put up with that.”
Unshakable confidence. Nobody can take away the confidence that comes from commitment.
Keep Going And Keep Growing
Raising your standards will cost you some people, habits, and comfort zones. But it will give you everything in return: peace, freedom, confidence, and alignment.
You owe it to yourself to raise your standards. Not someday (by the way, I’ve studied the calendar several times, and there is no such thing called “someday” in there) – today.
If this message resonated with you, I’d love to hear: What standard are you ready to raise right now? Drop it in the comments and declare it. Writing it down is the first step to commitment.
And if you want support in aligning your standards with your business and life goals, let’s connect – I’d be honored to walk alongside you as you step into your highest potential.
And I would be honoured if you join my free Soaring Alliance Lounge Facebook group for more “Health, Wealth, & Abundance” experience for small business owners.
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DISCLAIMER:
Individual results will vary, and results are NOT guaranteed.
