What Are You Pretending Not To Know?

Health Lifestyle

I’ve been asking myself this question for some years now, in the areas of work, business, marketing, etc. I’ve also asked myself this in certain areas of my personal life. However, I haven’t asked this question when it comes to my health and wellness.

Yes, I have had thoughts of what CAN I do to better my health and improve my overall well-being, but I never seemed to take real actions on improving my health and wellness. Sure, I did the 30-day challenge, it felt good, and then shortly after I slipped back into my old habits, thinking I was doing enough…

But I was only fooling myself, I was lying to myself, and I was pretending to be something I was not. And as you probably know – at least I hope you know – we can get away with a lot of things in life because we don’t live as closely with the world at large as we do with ourselves. But we can’t escape from ourselves! The reality is, we are with ourselves 24/7 from the day we are born until the day we take our final breath.


If that came as a shocker for you, it’s time to face reality! Now, know this, the reality isn’t as bad as you may think. Said that, if there is something in your current reality that you don’t like, maybe you even hate, have you ever thought that you are the only person in this entire world, that can change that for good?

Yes, you! Not your parents, not your siblings, not your partner or your kids, not your friends, not your boss, not the politicians… No one else BUT YOU can make a real change in your life!

“The moment you take RESPONSIBILITY for everything in your life
is the moment you can change anything in your life.”

~Hal Elrod

You might be thinking “are you out of your freakin’ mind?” right now, and want to protest with “they make my life miserable”, “I’m getting older so I’m having less energy than when I was young”, “the politicians are crooks in suits”, “my kids have no idea how to behave”, “my partner cheated on me, I’m broken”… 

Trust me, I’ve been thinking in similar ways, and in fact, I still do in certain areas of my life. But that is me! Who’s life is getting better by me sticking my head in the sand, pretending not to see the obvious? Certainly not my own life, that’s for sure!

Let me make a point before we go on…

How are they making your life miserable? You chose to visit those friends of yours who you know are always arguing and blaming each other of all sorts, and both want you to side with one of them.

Yes, it’s true, we all age, but what law said that you can’t go to the gym because you’re past 45, or sign up for dance classes because you are 63, or simply go hiking in the woods because you enjoy movement?

By the way, do you know the politicians personally, or have evidence that they are doing something illegal? If not, and you think you have a better solution than they do, why don’t you run for office?

Oh, so your kids misbehave? Tell me, who raised them?

How can you be surprised that your partner cheated on you? He left his third wife because he cheated on her – with you (who knows what happened in his first and second marriage)…

I’m not saying all this to annoy you or to take you down in any way or saying everything is your fault. I’m just saying, you have a choice to make your life better by taking more responsibility for your actions, reactions, and responses to what’s going on in the world at large, and more importantly, for what’s going on in your own life!

So, “what’s your point, Eva?” you may be thinking right now… And here it is, as one answer to this article’s headline:

I’m pretending not to know that I’m neglecting my health and wellness and that I have been doing so for years by convincing myself I did enough for my health and wellness, when in fact my body is tense and aching most of the time (even when I sleep), and because of that I often feel tired, lacking energy, having mood swings, and I can’t fully focus and be efficient on what I do both in my private and professional life…

Yes, I can hear you all now going: “Hey, Miss Positive, why the heck are you suddenly being so hash on yourself and take yourself down this way?”

Well, in my opinion, this IS positive. Because, I’m finally being honest with the fact that I’m not taking full responsibility for my health and wellbeing, so now I can DO something realistically to change the fact from what it is today to something I want it to be in the future.

A good friend of mine, who I admire and respect deeply said something very profoundly not long time ago. He said: “Ignorance is bliss, awareness is a mother-fucker.” Or in other words, do something about your awareness, or find ways to ignore the fact. And that goes for anything in your life – yes – ANYTHING!!! Whether it’s you who is responsible, or if it is you reacting/responding to something outside of you (events you normally can’t control).

So, how am I allowing myself not to take better care of my health and wellness? Well, first of all, old habits are hard to change right? At least, that’s what I have been telling myself. And, to face the reality of me not caring for myself enough is kind of embarrassing. Why? Because I “preach” to others that the most important person in their lives is themselves. If they don’t look after themselves, they can’t fully look after others. So, admitting that I am not fully looking after myself to the best of my knowledge and capability, it’s really something I don’t want to talk loudly about, if you know what I mean…

Now, I also know that it is so easy to overlook obvious signs, yellow alerts as someone calls them, like I’m tired because I didn’t go to sleep until way too late even though I know I need 8 hours sleep to be fully rested in the morning, or, I’m lacking energy because my diet is the same every day and it doesn’t provide me with the nutrition my body needs, or, I’m not exercising enough because I have too much other stuff to do (often business-related), or, I drink too much coffee and not enough water so my heart-rate often rises just by the slightest physical task. And here is a good one that I know many will relate to… I say “yes” way too often to things I really don’t want to do, but I do it anyway to please others, and it is exhausting. And the list goes on and on…

“The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves.”

~Bob Proctor

Learning how to be comfortable being uncomfortable isn’t easy, and when I awkwardly did this position for the first time, I realized… It’s not what I’m doing that makes me uncomfortable… Sharing my limitations and weaknesses with the world is one thing that makes me really uncomfortable, and by not sharing, but holding back and in a way pretending to be what I’m not, I tense up in my body even more, which is the total opposite of what I really want…

In November last year, after moving to a place where it is uphill or downhill in any direction I choose to go when I leave my house, I discovered just how unfit my body was. After only a week I noticed it was easier walking up that hill to the left and my breath wasn’t as heavy as the week before. By Christmas, I no longer dreaded taking the dog out for a walk, or walking to the center and back as I did in the beginning when I first moved here.

That made me think… What was the payoff for me keeping my head in the sand and not doing nearly enough for my health and wellbeing? The simple answer is; it was just easier not having to exercise, not having to focus on better nutrition, not disappointing others by saying “yes” when I really wanted to say no, etc.

And the more I thought about it, another thought came up… What would I rather be experiencing? The answers came surprisingly easy… No pain or body ache, better sleep at night feeling energized and ready to go in the morning, not having the sneaking thoughts of serious health issues, better life quality in general, AND having more fun and fulfillment in my life and business.

I realized that the cost for not changing it, for not taking better care of my health and wellness, could be far higher than I had been willing to admit to myself previously. I could potentially develop a chronic disease, I might have a heart attack, I might lose the will to live, I might not be able to enjoy the wonders of life, etc.

So it dawned on me that the payoff, by taking the time and effort to improve my health and wellness, has the potential of being far better than I can imagine at this moment.

So, I decided that 2022 will be a year where I’m dedicated to improving my health and wellness, both physically and mentally. Because I truly deserve it! And I spent a lot of time during the Holidays coming up with action steps to take, and thinking about people who might be able to help out or keep me accountable in my progress. 

“If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility
for everything that you experience in your life.”

~Jack Canfield

Laughing AT myself is not a great motivator for keeping my own commitment to myself. Then again, laughter, humor, and fun will keep me going, so I was laughing WITH myself when I realized just how stiff my body is, and at the same time, I truly believe that a few simple Yoga exercises daily will eventually reduce that stiffness. And in just a few weeks from now (like with the walks up and downhill), I can laugh with myself again and be proud of myself, when I look back and recognize just have far I’ve come because you decided to bet on myself!

I have learned from one of my mentor’s, Jack Canfield, that by just taking 5% more responsibility of any area of my life, everything will change. When I first learned this 3-4 years ago, I didn’t fully believe in it. Still, I decided to have a go at it. Now, I can’t remember what area it was I decided to take 5% more responsibility for back then, and also come up with only 5 action steps to take for the next 30 days, but I do remember how I felt and what happened before those first 30 days was over, and that was that I knew my life had changed for the better permanently!

Since then I’ve taken 5% MORE responsibility in many of my life areas, personally and professionally, and I have this attitude of constantly wanting to improve (even good things can be improved, and by doing so they become great things). I have focused on one thing at a time, and by taking 5% more responsibility for my life and what I experience in my life, EVERYTHING in my life has changed for the better! Even those areas I haven’t focused on has somehow improved as a bonus to the work I did.

Am I taking 100% responsibility today? No, I’m not, I still find myself complaining about something, I still hear myself blaming someone or something, and I’m still making excuses. And do you know what? I’m grateful for that insight because that means I can do something about it – one at a time!

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